TRYING TO PUT IT BACK TOGETHER

I had to break down and go to the doctor today. I've been sick an entire week. Now I have to try and find all my parts and get back into the book again. I've had a lot of dump distractions, like cable guys who don't show and then do show, which is sometimes worse.

I don't know about all writers, but I'm sensitive as to who comes into my environment. Everyone has some kind of energy attached to them, and sometimes it really bothers me. I had an agent once who was a really nice person, but very frenetic. He was constantly interrupting me. He never did understand that his energy was so scattered that it had a negative effect on me. I like people involved in my career to do their job and more or less keep their distance. I can be a pain myself, though, and I used to have a temper. My divorce was a nightmare, which most divorces are. My new husband is so mellow that I don't get annnoyed or upset much anymore. Besides, I had to let go of a lot of things involving my career. The books are either going to sell or they're not. Sure, I can promote them and keep my fingers crossed, but its really hurts when you have a book that doesn't perform well, particularly if its a good book, and people say most of mine fit the bill. That's another problem being in the entertainment industry. What makes one book soar to the top of the bestseller list while another far better book sells five copies? Why does a song hit #1 and another doesn't? No one really knows. Sometimes its mega advertising, of course, or the person has become so well known that people just buy anything they write because they don't want to think about picking out a new author. What gets me are writers who aren't even writing their own books anymore, and the readers know it, but still buy them. I work very hard to put together a good book. Trust me, writing a novel isn't easy, no matter how much experience you have.

There's one hugely successful writer who started out mocking the reading level of the American public with his titles, which were all nursery ryhmes. He had chapters which consisted of only one paragraph! This means people were buying more paper than book. Hey, I'm happy for other people's success. Its just there are so many deserving writers out there and no one is reading them. Many of are still unpublished and that's sad.

I haven't been able to run and that really bothers me. I love to pound the pavement. I started wheezing tonight, and I went to the doctor because I was coughing up blood. I'm fine, though. I have a body filled with all kinds of medical devices, but I am still atheletic. I can't jump horses anymore since my accident, but that's my decision. I also gave up skiiing. I've had far too many brutal accidents to keep taking risks. I am a little mad when it comes to things like that. I'm an excitement junky. Before I had my back surgery, I went paragliding AND skiiing. Now that I'm fixed, running is good enough. I would like to be able to dance more. I used to go out dancing all the time when I was single. I would write until nine or ten and then hit a club by myself. I don't care what you look like, when a single woman walks into a club, they get a lot of attention. That's what I keep telling my single girlfriends. When they go with another girl, it isn't as easy for a guy to approach them. I wasn't looking for guys, though. I just wanted to dance and have fun, so that's what I did mostly. When I'd had enough, I just left. I did follow some smart rules. I parked in a well lit lot, and I made certain no one followed me. Of course, I do know how to defend myself. I used to carry a hammer or wrench in the side pocket of my car. You can do a lot of damage with a hammer, by the way. If someone tries to jack you, just smash their brains out. When I run at night, I strap on a buck knife, and wear a bright light on my head that also can be set to flash if I get into trouble. I'm not really afraid of anything or anyone. I know God looks after me, and if He sends me trouble, I'm there to handle it. If your a girl and you go out alone, use your head when you befriend someone, and don't give your number out and never take the guy home with you. See him in the light of day in a public place and get to know him. You can do anything you want if you take the right precautions.

Nancy